My 29th Birthday with my sis Krystal.

I am reminding myself to take things day by day, developing some patience, is a lesson I know I am supposed to be learning right now. Everyday I struggle with this. I want to know how my life is going to turn out right now, instead of accomplishing my daily goals and setting a few for the immediate future. I feel like Michael W. Smith…trying to find My Place in This World…haha….that made me laugh.  I truly am metamorphosing everyday into the woman that I want to be. Some days are better than others, and that is ok. It’s exciting to see positive changes in my heart and mind and know that I’ve got my head on my shoulders and I will be just fine. Some day I will find the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I would love to have a beautiful family and cherish those happy moments forever like snapshots in an album.  I am coming to understand that I am finding happiness in things I had shut out of my life for so long, and finally feel like I am starting on a path toward being good old Kimmy once again. Just be patient and these things will happen in time….right? Right.

Kimmy

What would I do without Pandora Radio? I can zone out, work on my design projects and it doesn’t feel like anything else in the world matters except for what I am doing at that very moment. Realizing that this time in my life will pass has been hard to believe. I know that everything will not be this way forever and it’s just a matter of letting myself live each day seperately from the next and not overthinking. Overthinking things is what messes me up inside and I am tired of doing that to myself. Things are already going pretty good considering the circumstances. I finally have my own car after 8 long years of trying to find rides. I have my independence; I have a lot going for me.

I keep seeing this sign out in Valpo for a Huge Sale and from afar it looks like Huge Slut. Or maybe that is just my dirty mind at work again. Every time I see it I crack up in my head. Then I think, what if people put signs up all over the place advertising their random thoughts?  Huge Slut, I’m Hungry, That Cake Was Good, Put The Seat Down, You Don’t Know My Life….

These are things I think about to entertain myself.

Peace.

5 months have gone by and what the hell. I started school, I got a job, and my life has changed more than I ever thought it actually would. John and I broke up – been almost a month since that happened. If you know me, you know what happened. I’m not going to retell the story for the whole internet to read. All you need to know is that things change, people change, and the breakup was a long time coming whether we wanted to accept that or not.  I am happy now, and so is he…as happy as we can be til life gets normal again…whatever normal is(!) Life will be peachy once again and our futures are not held back by the problems we could never fix…or would never fix. I feel like I missed out on a lot of experiences and was headed down a path that I wasn’t ready for and did not want anymore. I need some time to find out who I am, what I want, and have some fun. I have nothing to my name, but I have everything I could want at the same time. I have new friends and old friends, I have my family, and most importantly I have my freedom.

Lately I have had a lot of word vomit (saying things that should stay inside of my head and not outside of my head)…please disregard it and know that I am a human who is transitioning. I know you know that. Just sayin. Now that I am starting to settle myself inside, I have time to concentrate on my design projects and start to create more stuff so that I can join AIGA and start to realize my goals. I know that I have not put 100% of myself into my work but that is to be expected right now. It’s time to get my ass going and create, create, create. First I need my own computer…anybody have an extra one lying around? I will pay you in hot sauce. So, here is to being honest with myself and continuing to be awesome.  Thanks to everyone who has been there for me. Your love and compassion have not gone unrecognized.

Yesterday I let the dogs out into the backyard to do their business after dinner. I opened the screen door and let them race around, then I stepped out and noticed that there were two ducks chillin out in the grass. It looked like maybe they were trying to take a nap. Rocky and Charlie were about 3 feet away from the ducks, and I seriously thought that they would attack them since they are always going nuts to chase birds and squirrels….oh and cats too, now that the neighbor has an outdoor cat. Surprisingly, Charlie and Rocky just stood there – unsure of how to proceed in the attack of an innocent duck and mesmerized that they didn’t fly away – they just sat there. They sat there until I ran outside and started screaming, NO! WAIT! DON’T MOVE! ROCKY! CHARLIE! JOHN! HELP! DUCKS!!! John was just waking up from a nap and came running downstairs. By that time the ducks had flown away. I told John what happened when he reached the back door. He laughed and said he wished he could have seen the ducks. I said that I don’t know why I got so scared about the dogs attacking the ducks; I forgot that ducks can fly.

The moral of the story is: A dog with four legs is slower than a duck with two wings, and a lady who cries duck is an entertaining sight altogether.

Thursday is my last final exam of the semester and I am ready to be done! I’ve been ready since last week – I had two projects and one final that week. This week feels like summer break is in full swing minus the final exam tomorrow which is kind of equivalent to going to see the doctor during the summer. No fun I say. No fun at all. It will be done soon enough and then I can de-stress and move on to other projects that await. It’s almost midnight and I am forgetting how to spell, so I will leave you with some random facts about my day:

1. I dropped my plastic mug-of -pop into the bathroom sink. It got all over the counter, wall, and objects on the counter. The bathroom isn’t the most ideal room to bring beverages into anyhow.

2. I went to the ortho to get my rubber band hook fixed and turns out my bracket was open on that tooth, the tooth moved to where it was not supposed to be, and they had to take out the wire and put a different one in. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! **said in Gomer Pyle voice**

3.  I was trying to put away my tv table (mini tables you eat food on in front of your tv, good habit, huh?) and it got stuck, then slammed shut, then hit my leg, I fell against a chair, and the dogs, oh those sweet sweet dogs – came to my rescue. They wagged their tails and tried to lick me back to health. (That’s what she said…ok that was gross but I had to say it!It’s a line from the U.S.’s The Office in case you didn’t catch that.)

4. I got my eyebrows waxed this afternoon, and every time my stylist pressed the paper down on the wax, the anticipation of her pulling it off and the slight ripping sound to follow made me laugh because I knew it was coming any second and it was going to be uncomfortable. I let out a blurt of laughter right before she ripped the paper off, and the laughter made me laugh, and I think you get the point.

5. Time for bed….goodnight all!

I kind of forgot that I had a blog for a while there. Whoops! I started going back to school in January and have been so wrapped up in studying and classes that I have hardly had any time to waste on crafting and blogging.  Classes are finally over for the semester … besides my last exam this coming week. I am so relieved and ready to enjoy these warm months. I really enjoy graphic design, and my intentions are to stick with that concentration as my major. I am going to take lots of photography classes as well because design and photography go hand in hand. So yay on that! My first semester back in school after 5 years was great. I am hoping that my grades pushed my gpa way up so that I can qualify for scholarships next year.  I had one panic attack at the end of the semester because you know how stressful that time can be. Other than that my anxiety has been stable enough to deal with. And that is an A+ in my book.

I mowed the lawn for the first time in my LIFE today! You may be wondering why. So I will tell you. I used to have issues with my abdominal muscles when I was younger and it would hurt if I pushed or pulled things that were too heavy. So I never had to mow the lawn. My abdomen is no longer fearful that it will inflict pain upon itself so I thought I would give mowing a go. We have an electric mower – I had to watch the cord and hold it to the side like I would if I was vacuuming. I broke a sweat, had grass on my socks, my shoes turned green, and my nostrils were inflamed from the grass bits flying in the air. It was fun! Not even being sarcastic – it felt good to do something that most people have done millions of times in their life by my age.

The dogs are doing good – they no longer fit into the same kennel together. Charlie is about 14 lbs. and Rocky is about 11lbs. They are housebroken (thank goodness!), they love to go for walks, and they can do all kinds of tricks. They turned 9 months old on May 1st. Time has seriously flown by.

Well my dears, that is about all I think I will write for today. Hope everyone is doing good and please come back to see what new shenanigans I am up to!

Having puppies is like having kids….you never get anything done! Or so I have heard. Charlie and Rocky are getting so big! I can’t believe that we have had them for a month and a half already. I will be so freakin happy when they are housebroke and I don’t have to clean up piss and shit everyday. Today we have not had any accidents. I hope I didn’t jinx my fabulous luck by saying that. Probably did though. I’ve got a million things to do before our open house on Saturday. Right now I’m taking a break. I think I have gone past my 15 min. and I need to get back to work. But before I do, I ran across this blog post on myspace and thought I would share it with anyone who is crafty and into recycling. It is a contest and the winner gets a $399 Singer sewing machine…and the runner ups get a nice machine too. I would love to participate…maybe I will conjure up some sweet ass crafts after the puppies go to bed tonight. You must send in your pics of your craftiness on Friday November 14th. So hurry it up and get the scissors and Elmer’s paste out!

The Upcyclist Party Contest! is hosted by The Naughty Secretary Club*Jennifer Perkins.
If this link will not open, go to www.myspace.com/naughtysecretaryclub and check out her blog entitled, “The Upcyclist Party Contest.”

Time to eat some tostadas and get back to work!

Holla!

I have not had a chance to write in maybe almost a month – ever since I quit my job and acquired two crazy (in a good way) pups. They are sleeping right now and I need to take them for a walk, but I am just so freakin tired today. I am procrastinating the inevitable, I know. Dogs need to walk. Especially baby Jack Russels. They need to walk, run, and eat my blankets and house shoes. They’re good at that. I love them so much, and I am very thankful to have two little butt heads in my life, but I am also very tired and frustrated that I have not been able to do much to my new home since the dogs moved in. My family room downstairs has not been unpacked yet – which is the same story for most of the other rooms too. Things are out just not put away, or we have no place to put them yet, etc., etc.

I really want to learn how to play my guitar that’s been sitting for about two years, and I want to practice my french horn so that I don’t lose all of my musical inclination that has been slowly receding from my memory. My braces kind of hinder the horn playing though…I know it’s been done before, but I haven’t forced myself to endure the pain of metal on metal since I’m not tied to any sort of concert band or even anything solo. The point of this entry is that there really is not a point. I have a few funny stories to tell later when I get the time to write. I have a horn that needs to be played, a guitar that needs some strumming, and a very tired person that hasn’t found the energy for either one. I also need to organize and paint my house.

And lastly, puppies are a lot of hard work. It’s like having two small children except that they pee and poop outside or on the floors inside, and they are naked all of the time. Oh, and they lick their wieners and I am pretty sure human babies do not do that. So that will be one plus when we decide to have kids.

Ok, going to walk the dogs!

P.S. I do love my dogs; they are a handful but worth it.

The End.

John and I decided on names for the pups! FINALLY! I haven’t named any living thing besides my dear sweet Teddy (in doggy heaven) and probably some fish and hamsters from back in elementary school. The white pup is named Rocky and the brown pup is Charlie. Charlie was almost Farley, but I told John that I would call him Far-Far as a nickname, and then it was inevitable that Far-Far would turn into Fart-Fart and then just plain old Fart. That wouldn’t be nice of me, considering that I’m his mama.  So to prevent me from teaching our dog that his name is remnant of nasty butt expulsions, Charlie was the safe way to go.

Right now they’re sleeping, just the way I like it. I feel like I didn’t know that I was pregnant and dropped to twin boys during America’s Funniest Home videos last Sunday night (is that show even on any more? Bob Saget is good at playing the wholesome family man while his comedic act is directed towards dirty-minded adults).  Even if I did have a surprise puppy birth in the bathroom while in the middle of Sunday night shows, I am ecstatic to have dogs of my own. The supervision and attention they require is overwhelming at times, but we are finally falling into a routine with them and it is getting easier day by day. And that is that. Now I must go wake my sweet little dreamers up for their midnight poo.

oof oof!

Today we took the pups to the vet and all went well. They have worms, but all puppies do says the vet and he gave them some nummy medicine to help get rid of them. While we were waiting for the vet to bring up our statement of services for the day, the pups were barking at some other people who walked in. Their kennels were right behind my legs, so I crouched down to make my little Cesar Millan sound, “chhhh!” to quiet them down. I’m trying to look at the brown dog while I make that noise. I think I’m looking at him in the face, but I can only see one eye. I then discover that it is not his eyeball that I see, but his brown eye! If I had a nickel for every time John and I made a butt hole joke. That was the icing on top of the brown cake.